Feeling deflated! 

For the past couple of days I have been finding it hard to be my normal, bubbly, excited and happy self. 

No matter what I try to do to perk myself up I just feel run down, unhappy and beaten by life.

It’s like this gloomy cloud that is just hanging over me and the little things that don’t bother me normally or I can usually brush off and forget about are actually starting to bother and get to me.

For example yesterday as I was watching Baby and her sister playing happily in the park together.

  

Baby was thrilled to finally be getting the chance to try something other then the swings. she was truly loving the freedom. 

As I watched them play I started thinking about how often we are going to be able to go to park now the weather is nicer and about when I use to take E when she was Baby’s age and watch her run around and climb the climbing frame and go down the slide. Then I started to think about how long it’s going to be before Baby will be able to do that.

It was then my chest started to tighten and my heart ached because I finally noticed and realised that Baby wasn’t walking yet. All of her little friends at playgroup are toddling and she has just started to master standing and a bit of cruising. 

At that moment I saw a family with a child younger then Baby and he was running in front of his parents into the park. I nearly broke down in tears right in the middle of the park because I finally starting to see her learning delays. 

I always knew it takes children with DS that little bit longer to learn new thing and they don’t just pick things up and Baby has been so amazing at learning things quickly and has been hitting all her milestones that I just never really noticed a difference between her and other children her age. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that first realisation can as a shock. It knocked me for six and it has had me worrying and brought back a load of fears and emotions I thought I had already dealt with. 

And it has left me feeling really deflated! 

Nikki x 

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16 thoughts on “Feeling deflated! 

  1. Oh hun, that is an absolutely understandable worry, I get why you feel like that. But every child is different, not just yours. It certainly doesn’t have any impact on her happiness, shes always smiling! Please try and not let it get you down too much, I’m sure she’ll certainly make up for it in other ways :).
    I hope you’re OK, here if you ever wanna chat x

  2. Don’t worry, although it is so easy to compare children to their peers as a teacher I always tell parents each child is unique and excels in things differently. Baby looks absolutely gorgeous and happy and whilst some things may take longer for her to master the crucial thing is she is happy and well and enjoying her life her way. Keep strong, it looks like you are doing an AMAZING job xxxx

  3. Sounds like a very hard few days, with a torrent of emotions flooding through you. Every child is different and learns at different rates, which I know you know. She looks so very, very happy, though, and not every child has that. You’ve given her that with your love and parenting, Hope you’re OK x Thanks for sharing with #WotW

  4. Aw Hun it must be so hard at times but th fact you only just had this realisation shows what an amazing job you are doing with baby as you don’t see her as having ds and slow development you just see her as your little baby who is a gorgeous happy little girl. I work with adults with ds and she will soon catch up and have just as good as a life as her brothers and sister. you are an amazing mummy with four lovely happy children and I hope you start feeling a bit more like your self soon xx

  5. I’m so sorry you feel deflated. I have no knowledge of raising a child with DS but you are one of the most upbeat people I’ve come across and whilst you may have found it hard I know that you will bounce back as you’re doing such an amazing job. Never forget that xxxxx

  6. I’m so sorry your feeling this way hun. It’s completely understandable as you want nothing but the best for her. Look at that little face though, she is so happy and she want for nothing because you are amazing. It’s not about the milestones, it’s about that smile x

  7. Aw you really are giving her your best. She’s adorable and you are an adorable family. She will do it in her own sweet time with her family supporting her and when she does it will be all the more spectacular for you. Can’t imagine how hard it must be waiting but just know the main thing is she is happy and your a huge part of that x

  8. Definitely a normal feeling, and not one of the warm fuzzy ones. My son didn’t walk until he was 27 months, which was at least a year after his cousin born the same day. And now that he’s 4.5, I hardly think of it. This too shall pass. ❤

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