Yes, they’re all mine!

As a mother to 4 and a step mum to 2, my family is classed as a “large family” and because of this people I know, strangers on the bus, in shops or on the street and even sometime professionals feel they have a right or needs to pass comments or judgements over me and my family.
Saying stuff like “You have your hands full”, “Don’t you own a TV?” or “Haven’t you got enough!”. These are normally quickly followed by the question “Are you having anymore?”. (This is normally said as they pull a face like they have smelt or tasted something terrible!) 

Most of time I can easily ignore these comments and just right them off as people trying to be funny or ignorant. Even if it does really worry me when random strangers or people that I barely know insinuate that my hubby and I are baby making machines!

The worst I have had is when people I thought were my friends make annoying accusations that I only have “so many children” so that I don’t have to work and I can sponge off benefits or my husband! (Who works full time I might add)

Those types of comments tend to take a little more to forgive or forget. Instead I choose to ignore them because I don’t feel the need to live my life or raise my family the way other people think I should. 

My family and I don’t want to fit into the norm because we want to be ourselves!  And I love them for that.

In all honesty I never thought I would have a big family. As a teenager I didn’t even want children but at the crazy age of 16 I found myself pregnant. It wasn’t planned and at the time I thought my life was over. Luckily as my bump grew, so did I and by the time I was 17 I gave birth to my eldest son T. It was then that I feel in love with motherhood and I realised I wanted more then just 1 child. 

That been said I never dreamed I would give birth 4 times and have added children to make my family whole.

But just because a family is larger then most doesn’t mean that the parents have a larger, unsatifiable appetite then everyone else. It just means they have been blessed with hearts and arms to be filled buy all their beautiful children. 

It’s not for other people to make them feel bad or pass unwanted comments about someone’s about parenthood because every family is different and special! 

I don’t go around judging people because they chose not to have more then 1, 2 or even 3 children because that is a personal choice that is completely up to them. 

So why do people feel the need to pass comments on my choices?

  

Nikki x 

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61 thoughts on “Yes, they’re all mine!

  1. Like you said some people are just plain ignorant. I think most of the time it’s just friendly banter; I’ve heard the same remarks so many times before and I just laugh them off. If people start talking adversely about my choice to have five kids or that I may be trying to sponge off the government by having so many, I tell them where to get off; then I remark that their lives must be really boring if all they want to talk about is mine tada! sorted πŸ˜‰

  2. Here here I think sometimes people don’t know what to say. When I had a boy, some people said ‘aww your family’s complete’ err who says? It really annoyed me that people thought a boy and a girl was the holy grail of parenting and my job was done. Someone even wrote it on a card. Aaarrrhgghhhh. Great post love xx

  3. It always amazes me how people are so judgemental. I would never comment on other peoples choices in life

  4. The fact that people can be so judgemental is beyond me. how people choose to live their lives, and the number of children they have is no one else’s business!! I always wanted a big family, coming from a family of 6, but I only have the one x

  5. I always knew I wanted 4 kids. As a little girl I told everyone that one day I was going to have two boys and two girls. I was very lucky to have been able to fulfil that dream and I see them all as blessings. I used to get the odd comment when they were small but they didn’t bother me, I was far too happy being a mum (with my hands full) to give too hoots what anyone else thought x

  6. I (mostly) enjoyed being part of a big family growing up, but I wasn’t keen to have kids for a while after having 4 younger siblings. Don’t let people get you down, your family is what it is and it’s no one else’s business. I get comments about my son being an only child, so it seems they are never happy.

  7. I don’t think the issue is how many children you have – it is just that large families are seen as benefit families due to how the media protray large families. Its rubbish really. I know many larger families, all planned and all providing for themselves. Yet that isn’t a newsworthy story.

  8. I am totally with you on this one and I wrote something similar a while back. I have four children and I get comments like this all the time, including “are you a childminder” #PoCoLo

  9. Hi. I totally get what you’re saying. We’re a large family – more of a modern day Brady Bunch – my husband has two children (now adults), I have one daughter and together we have a boy and a girl. We all live together, which isn’t always harmony and sunshine, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
    People, not all but some, simply do not understand how hectic but wonderful it is to be a big family. We’re blessed and I am thankful.
    As long as you and yours are happy.
    Brilliant post btw.
    xx

  10. I get the “you’ve got your hands full!” wih sour face all the time too! My husband tries telling me people are just being good natured, and maybe it is that way when they say it to a man, but it doesn’t feel like it to me. Drives me crazy. You are not alone!

  11. Very well said! It is none of anyone else’s business! It is sad that you have to deal with comments like this and judgement from other people. It’s so annoying that people feel the need to comment on things like this. I would be sorely tempted to bop them on the nose…

  12. People are way too quick to judge! Ignore them!
    I love large families! I find it hard to cope with 2 kids, so hands up to you!
    You all look so happy!

  13. I know exactly how you feel. I have five children and constantly get questioned as to why I have do many children.
    When I announced my fifth pregnancy I was mostly greeted with shock rather than congratulations.
    It’s a personal choice and people should accept just that.

  14. I only have two kids but a lot of people have shared their opinions on my desire to have a third baby and not in a positive way. Every time somebody tells me they are pregnant my first response is excitement and that’s the way it should be. My husband is a stay at home Dad and I support him. I don’t see this as sponging of anybody – I pay lots of tax and together we are raising our kids just like you are your husband – good for you and I am very jealous! #sundaystars

  15. Nice post.I’d love a big family. If only I could find someone else to birth them for me. The horrors are still to fresh in my mind to consider adding to our brood at the moment.
    #,sundaystars

  16. It’s crazy how people think they can comment on your life & kids. I have two boys and get asked if I was disapointed when I had my second or if we’ll be trying for girl. No! We love our boys, if we had another boy I would be happy as they are our kids #SundayStars

  17. I am so with you! I have “only” 3 and even now get the same sort of comments, especially as the youngest two are under 5 and only 20 months apart.
    I am also home full time, and my husband is also in full time employ! hehe

    #PoCoLo

  18. Ah, I really empathise with this one. I have three children born within just over 4 years and I get this all the time so I can only imagine the comments you get. I really don’t know why people feel they have the right to say things like this when it is none of their business. I get mad when people say it in front of my children too – things like “you’ve got your work cut out” or “you’re crazy”. How rude and insensitive to say things like this in front of my children. I think it’s wonderful you have such a big family. It must be so much fun for the children to grow up with so many siblings. I’m one of three but my parents are both one of five, and I loved growing up having dozens of cousins. Family get-togethers are always amazing. I don’t usually like to link drop on someone else’s post but here’s what I wrote about a while ago. I think you might appreciate it. #mmwbh

    http://cardiffmummysays.com/family-life/no-im-not-mad-theyre-not-a-handful-and-i-havent-got-my-work-cut-out-with-my-gang-of-three/

  19. THIS!! I am the eldest of 7 and the stares we used to get was so awful. In the end we would all turn around and stare back at them! I also used to get all the usual comments at school too (the TV one was peoples favourite!). I am so with you. Thank you for linking to #PoCoLo x

  20. well said I have three girls all close in age and I get asked similar questions as well the TV one gets right on my tits especially when its asked by a random 70 year old man in the street! but good on you i don’t see my family as overly big id happily have another in a year or two! thanks for linking up to #sundaystars xx

  21. Some people really are idiots, aren’t they? Even with *only* three kids we occasionally get thinly veiled comments about whether we’re denying our children attention or the financial benefits that might come from, say, being an only child. They seem to be completely ignorant of the benefits of having siblings to play and share experiences with. My wife was an only child and she regularly says that it hasn’t been until our second and third children came along that she realised how much she missed out on.

  22. I know I always mention or compare with my mother but I can imagine with her eight she got all these too and it’s probably so hard to ignore the comments and judgments from everyone but I hope you do. Others just don’t get the dynamics of a big family and how amazing it is. I wish I could have more. Thank you ever so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

  23. What a gorgeous bunch they are. I get fed up when people ask if I’m going to have any more (we only have one) and insinuate that only children have no-one to play with. It’s entirely up to each family how they choose to live their lives.

  24. What a gorgeous family you have! I have five kids myself and often when I answer the question people ask they respond with a “FIVE!?” sort of response. *rolls her eyes* It shouldnt be a shock as its a total blessing that I have five beautiful and healthy children. As some people have already said on here, some people can be so ignorant. I think a family of any size is amazing! πŸ˜‰ Thanks for linking up with #MMWBH x

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