Yes, they’re all mine!

As a mother to 4 and a step mum to 2, my family is classed as a “large family” and because of this people I know, strangers on the bus, in shops or on the street and even sometime professionals feel they have a right or needs to pass comments or judgements over me and my family.
Saying stuff like “You have your hands full”, “Don’t you own a TV?” or “Haven’t you got enough!”. These are normally quickly followed by the question “Are you having anymore?”. (This is normally said as they pull a face like they have smelt or tasted something terrible!) 

Most of time I can easily ignore these comments and just right them off as people trying to be funny or ignorant. Even if it does really worry me when random strangers or people that I barely know insinuate that my hubby and I are baby making machines!

The worst I have had is when people I thought were my friends make annoying accusations that I only have “so many children” so that I don’t have to work and I can sponge off benefits or my husband! (Who works full time I might add)

Those types of comments tend to take a little more to forgive or forget. Instead I choose to ignore them because I don’t feel the need to live my life or raise my family the way other people think I should. 

My family and I don’t want to fit into the norm because we want to be ourselves!  And I love them for that.

In all honesty I never thought I would have a big family. As a teenager I didn’t even want children but at the crazy age of 16 I found myself pregnant. It wasn’t planned and at the time I thought my life was over. Luckily as my bump grew, so did I and by the time I was 17 I gave birth to my eldest son T. It was then that I feel in love with motherhood and I realised I wanted more then just 1 child. 

That been said I never dreamed I would give birth 4 times and have added children to make my family whole.

But just because a family is larger then most doesn’t mean that the parents have a larger, unsatifiable appetite then everyone else. It just means they have been blessed with hearts and arms to be filled buy all their beautiful children. 

It’s not for other people to make them feel bad or pass unwanted comments about someone’s about parenthood because every family is different and special! 

I don’t go around judging people because they chose not to have more then 1, 2 or even 3 children because that is a personal choice that is completely up to them. 

So why do people feel the need to pass comments on my choices?

  

Nikki x 

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Breastfeeding a 1 year old and I’m not going to stop!

Dear people passing comment in how I feed my child!

I firstly want to say how “happy” I am that you decided to express yourself and tell me your opinions and thoughts in me breastfeeding my child!

I would now like to express how I feel about some of the comments that you made and I would like to put you straight.

Yes I have a 1 year old
Yes I am still breastfeeding
and no I don’t have any plans to stop!

I know to some people breastfeeding can be a taboo subject (“it’s too sexual”) and a few really don’t agree with it in public (“put it away, it’s disgusting!”).
I’m sorry but if my child is hungry or thirsty and they want breastmilk, I’m not going to hide away in the toilets or let her suffer to appease you.
Just like you can’t leave me to happily care for my child with out making your unhelpful comment.

I will point out that breastfeeding is one of the most natural things in the world and it is actually recommended for you to breastfeed your child until they are 2.

So when you decide to ask me “Are you planning on stopping soon?” Or “Don’t you think she is getting a bit old to breastfeed?”
My answer is simply

NO!

See my daughter is only 1 year old and our breastfeeding journey started out as a rocky one.

From the night she was born, I had many health professionals telling me “she might not breastfeed” because she had Down’s syndrome and due to her stay in neonatal, she was tube feed for the first few weeks. Meaning I had to express every drop of milk just so I could feed her. This was before I even got to hold her.
Once I was able to try and feed her. I was jumped at the chance but again it was full negative people telling me “it might not happen”.
I came close to giving up because I just wanted my baby off the NG tube and feeding for herself, because then she could come home.

Luckily after 3 weeks we made a break through when she started to take a bottle of my expressed milk. I knew once she was home I would get her breastfeeding from the comfort of my home, without negativity or professionals breathing down my neck. It took a while, a lot of tears and stress that pushed to the point of giving up. But we got there and at just over 5 weeks old I got my baby fully breastfeeding.

Because of the struggles we went through and because she is my last baby. I am not going to give up this opportunity to make my daughter happy and give her what she needs. Just to make someone I don’t know more comfortable.

Yes I will be discreet. In public I may cover myself with a shrug or blanket. That isn’t because I’m ashamed or for your comfort but mine. (can’t be getting frozen nips now can we)

So next time you want to make a passing comment about how someone else cares for their child. Please walk pass me and actually say it to some one who wants to hear it. I’m busy listening to the happy murmurs of my feeding child 🙂

Yours sincerely

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The woman breastfeeding her 1 year old.

Nikki ❤

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