5 ways to know you cracked Motherhood!

As many mother’s know having kids is never easy. It might seem like this amazing idea while your pregnant and you will dream and this beautiful baby that you swear will never know what a McDonald’s tastes like, they will never throw tantrums and every day will be amazing because will have managed to always make yours presentable and have your make up done before leaving the house in a morning.

Yes I was one of those mothers too and my motherhood dreams came tumbling down around me within a matter of days of my first son T being born. I left the hospital hobbling like a lady needing a zimo frame after my emergency c section. Every time I moved too quickly or took too big a step my stomach would hurt and it would feel like my inside might fall out. It’s safe to say I didn’t look presentable and it didn’t help that the only clothes I could fit in and felt comfortable were my old unflattering maternity clothes due to swelling after surgery. Basically I was a mess!

By the time I became a mum a second time round all my previous preconceptions of motherhood were out of the windows and I was a single mother. That was until I met my hubby and we started a family together and got married.

So now 4 kids down the line I believe all of these bits of my life have made me realise how much it takes to be a great mum and that sometimes you just need a pat on the back for managing to make it through the day in one piece.

so here my list of 5 ways to know you cracked motherhood:

  1. When your able to some how go to the loo, while holding a clingy teething baby that will start screaming if you so much as hint at putting her down and are able to hug a stroppy toddler, who is sulky because of a reason only they know and understand.  ←  This is a win, because hey at least you were able to go to the loo.
  2. You manage to open and enjoy a bar of chocolate with out your little angels seeing, hearing or even smelling the hidden treat.  ←  As parents we all know how good are little ones are at zoning in on chocolate, so if you managed to eat 1 bar without getting caught, well done.
  3. When you able to make it out of the door in a morning with a smudge of mascara on, your hair brushed and your have matching shoes.  ←  Win!
  4. When your able to feed your baby, while talking on the phone to organise a play date for your eldest and help your toddler put their shoes on with your free hand.  ←  This is unleashing the awesome mummy powers that turn you into SuperMum!
  5. When one of your offspring grabs you and hugs you close for no reason other then to show you how much they love and missed you.  ← This is one of the best and most amazing moments in motherhood. It’s that moment when you realise you are this little persons everything and they love you just as much as you love them.

There are millions of other motherhood wins that we win every day. They don’t even need to be the big things to be a mummy win it can be the simple things like getting to drink a brew while its hot or getting to actually have a relaxing soak in the bath. A mummy win can be anything that makes you feel Proud and Happy to be a mum!mother win

What are your mummy wins that let you know you cracked motherhood?

Nikki x

 

 

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10 phrases I swore I would never say to my kids…..but do!

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As a child I was, what can only be described as a “demon child”. I was one of those spoilt little brats that would scream the store down and throw all out hissy fits in very public places. My mum would try to be strong and would try to ignore or calm me down, but I was a very strong willed and stubborn child. (Must be because I’m a Taurus!)

That being the case I always remember certain phrases my mum would say to me that would make matters even worse or that annoyed me and made me scream loud.

When I became a mother I swore I wasn’t going to ever say such phrases, I was going to understand my child, our life would be great and I would be one of those easy going, cool mums that had a amazing untreatable bond with their child that was built out of respect. (You can stop laughing now)
Yes I was a kidding myself. I was living in a dream world and I didn’t know what being a real mum entailed. In my defence though, I was only a 16 when I fell pregnant with T.

And even though I swore blind I would never say these phrases to my kids. As they grow older I hear myself saying them and I’m slowly turning into my parents!

So here you go the 10 phrases I swore I wouldn’t say to my kids (but actually do!):

1) “Because I said so!”

2) “You make a better door then a window.”

3) “Just give me a 1 second.” (I say this a lot)

4) “If I had said that when I was a kid I would have got a ……….!”

5) “Thats life!”

6) “Tough!”

7) “Your too young to understand, your just a kid.”

8) “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

9) “When you move out I’m going to come and jump all over your sofas and see how you like it”

And the last but not least

10) “When you have kids I hope they give you just as much grief as your giving me.”

Do you ever say any of these? Is there anything you swore you were never going to say to your kids? Do you find yourself saying it anyway?

Nikki x

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A recap of my day

My husbands off out, to finally have the long waited night out “to wet the baby’s head”, (she is nearly 6 months old) my little mischief makers are all bathed and tucked up in bed for the night.

So I sit here in my candle lit living room and I let my bottle of red wine breath before I pour myself a much deserved glass. I think back over my day and what I have done to deserve it.

My morning started like any other normal day! My body ached and my groggy mind tried to think over the days events. As I drag my protesting body upright and out of bed to be greeted by a massive smile, beaming at me from the crib and a “mummy” from the room next door.
I stretch my semi awake body as I plod to the bathroom and the door to the third bedroom opens and there is T reading on his bed while P stands at the door asking “what’s for breakfast?” (because the most important thing to my boy is food)

After explaining to the boys they need to get their uniforms on as grandma is coming to take them to breakfast club. I bring my girls down stairs and click the kettle on. It groans to life and E is round my feet attempting to help me make our breakfast. (if you call swinging my on my legs and pulling out cereal boxes helping!)

After the boys have gone to school and I have the girls fed an dressed. We get ready for play group at 9.30. I look at the clock and it’s 9.15 and I’m not dressed, my jeans are still wet and my hair looks like something a bird would nest in. Luckily my amazing mum walks through door.

Grandma to the rescue!

I rush round getting dress and doing my hair and some how manage to make myself look something slightly past reasonable. By 9.25 my mum has the girls in the car and I grab my key, switch on the alarm, lock my door and away we go.

Play group was an amazing and we finished the girls Mother’s Day presents for me.

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The flower pots decorated by E with daffodil blubs planted

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and the paper flowers made by me and a sure start worker, scrunched by E and Ivy.

After all the fun of arts an crafts plus free play, snack time was a welcome distraction. That was when I beamed with pride as E said “more”, “thank you” and “biscuit” with makaton signing, showing everyone how clever she is.

One of the mums asked me where she had learnt it and why? I explained we had done a course at our local sure start centre (where play group was being held) because I had read and heard that children with Down syndrome learn language better with sign language/makaton.

Once play group is over my mum and I bundle the girls into the car and headed towards Morrisons, so we could do the food shopping. My mum pushed an asleep Ivy round in her car seat inside a little trolly while I took E.

All the way round I interacted with E as she again attempted to help (yet hindered) me shop. After 15 minutes of this I finally gave in and agreed to buy her a in the night garden activity book as a bribe for her good behaviour. She started to behave! We started playing peekaboo as she hid behind the book and called out “boo” when she lowered it. I had many people turning and staring as we noisily walked past, playing our game. Not really caring because at least my child was happy and having fun.

We finished our shopping and went home were I fed Ivy and got on with my usual household chores. I waited for 2pm to hurry up because that’s when I knew Andy finished work and shortly after I would finally be able to have 5 minutes peace to go to loo or just relax and have a brew that was actually warm enough to finish.

As Soon as he walked through door I realise his day had been as tasking as mine. He goes to pick up the boys, who go to grandmas for a pre promised tea. It’s just daddy, E, Ivy an I to cook for and Luckily I had already picked up a pre packed pasta salad while shopping.

A little while later grandma rang to ask if T would be able to sleep at his aunt’s house (yes that’s once less to get to bed tonight).

I know that may sound unmotherly but after weeks of arguing or bickering on a weekend one extra day of calm is very much welcome. Special after the pre 6am wake ups all week due to the sun rise getting earlier. P came home while T went to his aunts. By which point it was 6pm and dinner was over and bath time approached.

I washed E’s hair while daddy undressed Ivy and then we switched over in the bath. He bathed E while I bathed Ivy. (he is still scared because she is too small for him to bath her) P jumped in the bath not bothering it’s the same water as the girls and before we have chance to change it. So we decide to just leave him to get clean. While dried an dressed Ivy, Andy dresses E and reads her a bedtime story. The he starts preparing for his first night out since I was pregnant.

It’s not that I ever stopped him from going out (except at end of pregnancy) it just that after Ivy was born and all the complications that came up and the fact that he was the main carer for all the kids. Meant that wetting the baby’s head became a side note. Then Christmas came along an then our anniversary. So it never seemed the right time or he wouldn’t have the weekend off.

I’m honestly glad he went out tonight though because he needs to blow off steam.

Once the girls were in bed it was clean sailing from there. Andy set me a bath off while P watched his scooby doo on TV and I enjoyed my relaxing soak.
By the time I got out P was in bed and I had nothing to do but chill, light some candles an pour my wine.

I know to some this doesn’t seem like a lot and know I have had harder days. But after a week of serious sleep deprivation, dropping a nap for E from rotation and Ivy being ill. I think today was a Major mummy win. now I’m going to enjoy my wine while my babies sleep an wait for my loving husband to come home x

Nikki ❤